"Silencio"

Paminsan nakakapagod magsalita para bang ang sarap tumahimik.

Minsan sinubukan kong tumahimik, alam kung ano ang pakiramdam?

Kakaiba ang aking naramdaman noong ako ay tumahimik, para bang ako ay nasa ibang dimensyon.

Bukod doon, nakaramdam din ako ng kalungkutan na noon ko lamang naramdaman sa buong buhay ko.

Mahiwaga ang katahimikan. Napakarami nitong ibig sabihin.

Ang sarap pakinggan ng katahimikan.

Bagamat, ito'y nakabibingi ngunit ito ay nakakaginhawa sa pakiramdam.

Sa katahimikan mo lang mararamdaman ang kapayapaan ng iyong isipan.

Malaya ka ring makapag-iisip ng nais mo.

Malaya mong pag-iisipan ang mga agam-agam sa buhay mo.

Pero huwag kang magpapakaluno sa katahimikan.

Paminsan ang katahimikan ay nakamamatay.

Dahil sa katahimikan, marami ang nababaliw, ang nagdurusa, ang naaapi.

Sa katahimikan, di natin maririnig ang kanilang mga hinanaing.

Sana ang mga taong nanahimik ng mahabang panahon ay muling magingay para isigaw ang kanilang mga hinanaing.

Atin ding alalahanin na may oras na kailangan nating tumahimik at may oras din na kailangan nating magsalita. Paminsan ang katahimikan ay nakabubuti ngunit atin ding isaalang-alang na ang katahimikan ay maaari ring makasira sa atin.

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."  (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.)"

Creed

This is the creed that my past Dojo master taught me. I will bring this creed with my dignity and principles in life until the last breath that I will withdraw...

The Creed

I travel alone,

that God is my shield, truth is my guide and word is my death

I come not to fight nor to accept any challenge

but, if my principle and honor shall be molested by evil

I should be force to use my bare hands,

My weapon, kojuka so thou shall not.

In the honor of my past Master, I will carry this creed with all my will and honor.

"Lungkot"

Sa buhay ng tao hindi maaaring mawala ang kalungkutan. Naandiyan ang iba't-ibang dahilan ng kalungkutan ng isang tao, maaaring dahil sa pag-ibig o pinansyal o may iba pang dahilan.

Sa oras na ito ako ay nakararamdam ng matinding kalungkutan na ngayon ko lang naramdaman sa buong buhay ko. Sadyang ang pakiramdam na ito ay napakahirap itago. Hindi kayang tumbasan ng ilang libong biro ang nararamdaman kong ito. Hindi kayang itago ng mapanlinlang kong mga ngiti ang kalungkutang nababakas sa aking mukha. Ikaw lang marahil ang makapagaalis nitong aking kalungkutan. Ako ay nangungulila sa'yo. Sana ay pansinin mo na ako dahil patuloy akong mababalisa sa'yo. Ang nais ko lang naman ay ang mapalapit ako sa'yo. Nais kitang maging matalik na kaibigan. Nais kong makakuha ng aral mula sa mga pinagdaanan mo. Sana ay pansinin mo na ako ng hindi na ako mahirapan sa pag-iisip sa iyo. Ikaw lang ang maka-aalis ng nararamadaman kong ito.

"This extraordinary feeling makes me suffer, makes me fool and makes me freak all the time. I am such an emotional person, but it does not mean that I am truly an emo, we are all emotional in such different ways."

My Dirty Little Secret

It's a nice title right?^^

hahaha, anu nga bang "Dirty Little Secret" ko??

dami na ata.. Pero I think it's not a secret anymore 'coz it's already revealed. Hahahaha.. Maybe I should call as my "Dirty REVEALED Secret". Alam kong secrets can't be kept for so long. Tulad ko, I have lot of secrets, isa dun sa pinakamalupit kong sikreto ay.... SECRET.. ahahahaha..

Ang ganda ng song na 'to; Dirty Little Secret; napaka meaningful nya. It is a simple song for me. Through this song I can really express my feelings silently.

Why I entitled this topic as dirty little secret?

Simply because, my dirty little secret was a half revealed^^

It is not that easy to keep an extraordinary Secret. Yeah, it is really extraordinary.

Kaw ba naman ang magka... sa p..... mo ay grabe. KALOKA!

Hirap main love sobra, lalo na kung nagmamahal ka at magmamahal ng taong alam mong malabong maging kayo. Ang hirap talaga nun.

Ang hirap kayang magpretend nu. Lalo na pag araw-araw mo syang nakikita, eh di ba pag ganun yung situation you can't control your feelings, mafafall ka talaga sa kanya.

Kaya nga ako, I'm looking for some facts na pwede akong maturn-off sa kanya.

Hirap talaga, lagi kasi akong balisa,  sya lagi yung pumapasok sa isip ko, kaya naman pagnagcacalculus kami eh lutang ako palagi. Di ko kasi mapigilang di sya isipin.

Kasi naman, ang dali ko talagang mafall sa isang tao.

Naniniwala na talaga ako na naguumpisa ang love sa simpleng paghanga lang.

haayy... My life is too complicated. That's my dirty little secret. 

Hahahaha.. kung nabasa nya na to ngayon, buking na buking nya na ko.

Pero ang sakin, okay lang yun. That's life. There is no secret that is not being revealed. Kung alam nya na. Okay, mas mabuti na siguro yun kaysa naman magpretend ako ng magpretend diba.. Hirap nun, and besides I am  not a great pretender. At least alam nya na may nagmamahal sa kanya^^

Yun lang, there is no more dirty little secret in me. It is all revealed.

"The only secrets are the secrets that keep themselves."  (George Bernard Shaw)

It's a smart friday

Friday ngayon, daming nangyari sa school. Dami kong narealize kanina, isa na dun yung hirap ng pagiging LONER. Grabe, hirap mag aral ng calculus ng magisa, tapos dun sa seatwork namin sa calculus parang biglang nadissolve yung utak ko dun nung college break na. Grabe ganung katindi ang "DIFFERENTIAL" Calculus. Tapos after ng college break wala pa kong kasama.. waaaaaahhhh!!! Ang hirap sobra para akong nasa NOWHERE. I am totally lost that time. Tapos narealized ko din na mahirap mag aral kapag masama ang pakiramdam, parang naging lugaw yung utak ko. Haay naku, ang buhay estudyante nga naman di mo maintindihan...

Tapos medyo nabad trip ako sa huma, di naman ako totally bad trip that time, I just felt so intimidated. huhuhuhuhu.. it is so embarrassing, kaya from that time di na ko nagsalita. Si mam kasi, she's too frank. She's kinda bitter when it comes to men. Yun ang observation ni aya. Haaay... Napakamisteryoso talaga nung prof namin na yun. Tuwing uwian, She is always on the hurry para bang hinahabol niya palagi ang oras. I don't know why but maybe there is a reason for it. I believe that everything in this world has its own reason. Hehe.. Nose bleed na..

Haay, kapagod talaga 'tong araw na 'to. I don't know why I'm acting like this. Kasi naman iadd mo na po ko sa friendster plsssssss... Ang babaw ko eh nu..^^ Ganun talaga, it's part of growing up^^..

I may be serious sometimes, but remember that there is a certain and deeper reason why I became serious that way. Nobody can't pore what is on my mind that's why no one can clarify why I am like this. I am most of the time laughing with my peers but that laughter can't be a remedy for this illness. I may be sick sometimes, because I am seeking for something right that can change me and motivate me. I cannot express my feelings well but as long as the constitution is concern I can freely express my feelings because We the sovereign Filipino people, imploring the aid of almighty God, To build a just and humane society, to establish a government that shall embody our ideas and aspirations, promote common good, conserve and develop our patrimony and secure to ourselves and posterity the blessings of independence and democracy under the rule of law amd regime of truth , justice, freedom, love, equality, and peace do ordain and promulgate this constitution.

See I am so industrious^^. I can give jokes that sometimes has abysmal meaning. I just want to emphasize that everyone of us has the right to express what they want to express I don't care if you know what I feel for you. I just want you to know that I ONLY want to grasp some details in your life. It is getting more personal but I believe that an intelligent person can be intelligent through his experiences in life, You are so inscrutable that's why I want to comprehend why are you like that. Who are you? Why are you so bitter? Please response.

"As soon as man does not take his existence for granted, but beholds it as something unfathomably mysterious, thought begins." (Albert Schweitzer)

Your smile

Every time I am looking at you, I am always seeing that wonderful smile in your face.

It attracts me so much. There is a charm in your smile. it makes me feel fine. I don't know why I like you so much.

Who are you? Why are you so mysterious? I am so curious about you. PLease tell me who you really are.

I keep on falling to you. Every time you smile, there is a comfortable feeling from you. You make me feel complete. I want you in my life. But, I really hate this feeling, because, it is wrong. Please help me fight this feeling. I don't want to fall to you. It is not planned. It's accidentally happen on that day that I first saw you, first feel the warmth of your beautiful voice. It struck my heart in a minute. I can't even speak nor breath. I am totally in love to you. 

I love your smile. I love everything from you. You are so smart, so young, so beautiful, so generous,

so understanding, so patient and everything. You are hypnotizing me through your charming smile. Oh God, what will I do? I keep on falling in love with someone that this thing is definitely WRONG. It is an error. But, I can't get you out of my head. Are you a witch? If you are a witch, you are the most beautiful witch that I had ever seen in my life.

Please do not conquer my heart. You are killing me with your powerful smile. Oh no, this is wrong. Do not eat my mind. You're even in my dreams. "hush" Please make silence. I want to be alone. Please, I am begging you, get out of my mind. I don't want to love you this way. This is really wrong.

Oh, I do not want to be a stalker of you nor a paparazzi.

Please, I just need silence.

I want to free my mind from you.

Ah, I can't refuse every time you smile.

You are a tattoo on my mind.

Free writing

I am not a good writer nor a speaker. I am just trying to write a good piece through this blog. In this blog, I am voicing out my own ideas, feelings and many more. I want to share with you my experiences in life.

This is entitled as "Free Writing" because by this time I want to express my feelings informally.

I am a very simple person but I am a serious one. I am making simple things difficult because I always want some spice in my everyday life. In behalf of being a serious person, I want to do things perfectly though I can't do it with my self alone. I like adventure that's why my life is full of adventures. I can say that everyone of us is adventurous because everyone of us is striving for something that we want to.

I just want to laugh every moment so that I can ease the pain or discomfort with me. And also I want to exercise my jaws while laughing. I know that every second in our life is very important, so I am cherishing every splendid times in my life because someday I will be disappear.

In school, I prefer to join peer groups who can influence me good things. I like to open up to those people who I've known before. Like what my Filipino professor said "There are different colors of friend...".

Talking about "LOVE" it is a very serious thing for me. I don't like to play in the fire with those silly guys, It is foolishness. Love is not that so easy to handle. They are saying that "If you do not have commitment you will also not receive heartbreaks and heartaches". I do not believe on that. Yes you are not committed to a guy/girl but you do have feelings to each other, it is a harder thing. You will keep on thinking and waiting for "naught" you're a fool.

Oh never mind that thing, I really hate those kind of people whose making fool of themselves but who am I to enter their private life?

By the way, my day was ruined by that CALCULUS.

derivatives, limits, transcendental, logarithmic functions, chain rule... Math is so so complicated. I can't say anything about that but, It is a serious thing.

That's why I love math. Though it is that difficult but it is challenging. The more that I am analyzing the more the ideas are coming inside my mind. That is Mathematics.

Life is too complicated. Life is too short. Life is too mysterious. Like you, you are so mysterious. And I love my life.

"A simple logic: You are my life"

"A little bit"

I was kinda hesitant to tell you,

should I let you know,

I was never really like this before,

Need I say more,

Or maybe I'm confused when you are near me,

I don't know what to do or I should be,

there's only one thing in my mind,

that's you and me.

I'm a little bit of crazy,

I'm a little bit of a fool,

I'm a little bit of lonely,

I'm a little bit of all oh, I need a cure

just a little bit of you,

and I will fall...

I'm always on the run to see you,

would you allow me to,

It wasn't my intention to hurt you,

this feeling is true."

The lyrics of "A little bit" is very related to me. This song is very memorable to me because I remember an important person every time I sing this song. The lyrics are very majestic. It is really connected to what is happening in my life now.

This song really touch my heart. I can't explain anymore because the song does explain itself. This song is like a diary of the author or lyricist of it. This also like my diary. The song is somewhat talking and explaining itself.

This is a very good song for me. And if I am going to sing this song, I will dedicate this to the person that I admire most. For those who know me, they already know it. I don't want to mentioned any name/s just to protect the privacy of that person.

"I had loved a person who broke my heart, and now I am here standing, moving on until I found that very special person who changed my half-life and taught me good things without even knowing that "ella" taught me this things. I am glad to meet that person. "ella" is a wonderful gift to me and I am dedicating this song to "ella" because I am confused when you are near me and I don't know what to do every time that I am seeing you because I am a little bit of..."

- Carla Isla

My Professor

College life is very crucial. It is very different to high school life also teachers in high school are very different to the college professor.

When I first enter college, it is a very different world for me. Everyone is so serious though, some of them are fun to be with. People are always in hurry, there are some times that when we do not have class in math, it is like a party. At first, I thought that my professors are very strict, but then I am wrong. They are very good in teaching and very professional. That's the time that I am starting to know my  professors.

On my second year in college, I've met different faces. Freshmen, new faculty members, and even the guards in our school our new. On my first day as a sophomore student, I am so confident to face those old faculty member because I know them already. But, when I met my first new professor on that term and year, I felt so indifferent. I felt that something strikes at me and make me stop for a minute. I was so shock to my new professor. She was excellent in teaching that subject. I can rate her from 1 to 5 she is 4. The way she speak, the way on how she introduced herself, it's a big wow for me.

I will not mention any names for the sake of me. On the past meetings that we had, I felt something wrong with me. I felt some kinda exaggerated feeling that causes me ill all the time that I am seeing her. At first, it was confusing, but as long as it goes by the flow it become more deep. And then one time while I'm thinking of it a friend of mine send me a quote:

"True MEANING of love:

If it's because of his eyes or his lips or his great body;

It's not love, it's Lust.

If it's because of his intelligence or insight about life;

It's Admiration.

If it's because he cries every time you try to leave;

It's not love, It's Pity.

If it's because he makes you forget to study and slip;

It's not love, It's Infatuation.

Love is when you don't know why you seem to be attracted to a person;

Love has it's reason;

And that is UNKNOWN."

After I read that quote, I realize that maybe I'm in love with my professor but, there's a "NO" to it because I know it is wrong to fall in love in a professor though you are a student. It is maybe "Infatuation" or "Admiration" because she is very good in teaching, in speaking, that she is a very professional one. I said to myself that "this is definitely wrong."

In our life as a student, it's a normal thing to have a crush to a very brilliant professor, a cute professor, or sometimes a handsome or a beautiful one. But there are some cases that a professor has a relation to his/her student. It is not different. It's a normal thing. For me, it is a normal thing. I will admit that my professor is good in teaching, speaking and yes, she is beautiful and sexy for me, she is very nice.

I will put quotations to end my blog:

• "At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet."  (Plato, 427 BC-348)
• "It's okay to let yourself go, just as long as you let yourself back."  (Mick Jagger)
  
• "Our greatest battles are that with our own minds."  (Jameson Frank)
  

The very best things to do is to control your feelings, if you can't; let it go, but, know your limitations.

- Unknown

Love?Infatuation?Obsession?

What is love?

What is infatuation?

What is obsession?

Do you know what true love is?

Do you know what an infatuation is?

How can you define that what you are feeling is really love and not infatuation or obsession?

• LOVE
  

According to the dictionary love is:

• strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties love for a child>,
  
• attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers,
  
• affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests <love for his old schoolmates>,
  
• an assurance of love love>,
  
• warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion <love of the sea>,
  
•  the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration,
  
•  unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1): the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2): brotherly concern for others,
  
• a person's adoration of God,
  
• a god or personification of love,
  
• an amorous episode : love affair,
  
• the sexual embrace : copulation
  

Love has lot of meanings. That's how the dictionary defined love. But, for me I will define love as an extraordinary feeling that you will not know unless you will be hurt. That's love for me.

We may have different definition for love because love is too broad. But let us remember that love is not only about SEX but also it's about the trust that you are giving to your partner and the faithfulness that you must give to your partner. Love is too complicated. It is complicated because it makes the world go round.

God gave his only begotten son to us just to save us from our sins. That's love. Love is sacrifice. Love is commitment. Love makes a person complete. Love is everything perfect and good that we think.

What are the differences of love, infatuation, and obsession?

• INFATUATION

According to the dictionary infatuation is:

• to cause to be foolish : deprive of sound judgment,
  
• to inspire with a foolish or extravagant love or admiration,
  
• the state of being completely carried away by unreasoned passion or love,
  
• addictive love,
  
• Infatuation usually occurs at the beginning of a relationship,
  
• It is characterized by urgency, intensity, desire, and/or anxiety, in which there is an extreme absorption in another,
  
• it is traditionally associated with youth.
  

Infatuation is just an admiration or an exaggerated love. You are infatuated to someone if he or she is the same with your interest. You will say that "I like him" or "I like her" because you see something different from his/her personality. Sometimes, infatuation was misinterpret. They say that if you have a crush to someone, for example a cute guy who is a member of basketball varsity team in your school is your crush, you can easily say that you love that guy without knowing that you're just infatuated with him. Let us remember that infatuation or admiration is different from love. You may be infatuated with a person because of his/her sex appeal. That's what youth of this generation define love; that love is how high or low your sex appeal is. Infatuation in short is only a "crush" or "paghanga" some personal interest.

• OBSESSION

According to the dictionary obsession is:

• a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling,
  
• broadly: compelling motivation obsession with profits>,
  
• Obsessive lovers believe that only the person they fixate on can make them feel happy and fulfilled,
• Persons close to the love-obsessed can also be greatly affected. Witnessing a friend or family member suffer from the disorder can be distressing,
  
• Obsessive love is a form of love where one person is emotionally obsessed with another.
  

Simply obsession is an unreasonable feeling where in you feel that you want to see that person over and over again, taking stolen pictures of him/her, aiming to get close with him/her, feel ill when he/she is around, an emotionally disease, stalking him/her all the time, knowing his/her daily chores, following him/her with your sticky or lusty look, in short if you are doing some in here you are obsess and you are not in love.

Let us be careful to define what do we really feel for another person. Remember that love is not a joke and a commitment is really not a joke. It is a serious thing. If you are in love right now, then make that person as your inspiration. Sometimes love started with infatuation.

- Carla Mae C. Isla

Sophomore, Malayan Colleges Laguna